Life Chapters Three and Four in One
by PartzyPoiyz
Summary: In which a sitcom is made with the main characters being a womanly Shuu whose name will continue to be Shuu, that narcoleptic, scarf wearing math quack and the supporting cast is a fantail with brotherly love issues and that one guy who's a master with rocket launchers but shouldn't be.


"_Hnn…"_

"Who's this room for?"

"Don't know. Wasn't awake, didn't put up a fuss with her captor either. All I know is it's a Hawk Party member with a bullet in 'em. Not fatal."

"_O-ooh~"_

"But you also know the gender, right? A she? Be honest with me, Katsu. Is this one 'nice'?"

"…"

"What?"

"_Mm-!"_

"If you can't keep it in your pants, can't you at least have the decency to keep it out of the working field?"

"Don't you know our job? Every field is a working fi- Oh, hey! Sakazaki! You know this one right? Tell me, she mail order waifu material or what?"

"_Hah…hah…"_

"Sir, we're at work not a frat house."

"See, even a high school skirt chaser knows better than you."

"_Ah~"_

"Oh come on~ How you gonna diss me like that, uh? Forget it. I'll get lucky on my own accord."

"Don't get killed."

"Take Sakazaki's word. Catch you later."

"_Hm…"_

"Yeah, yeah. All abandon the schmuck."

The remaining agent, the only agent, now present in the sick bay corridor looked to the door he stood before during the duration of the conversation. Now this door, unlike the rest, had a warning sign which read: KEEP SEDATED AND AWAY FROM ALL MEDICAL EQUIPMENT.

"Well then," agent Kazuo, Ren blinked and raised a brow, looking up and down the hallway with the half-hearted expectancy of a fairy with a sermon's worth of information based upon how to deal with the person inside whose opening phrase was 'Hey, listen!'.

It didn't appear to him.

If only he expected just a little bit harder.

Opening the door, what the man expected was an even remotely fair maiden lying unconscious upon the operation table. Said table was blank but he had no intention on staring at it in disbelief. Actually, something else caught his attention before his mind could even process that as the next viable plan of action.

"Hello?" His eyes ventured west along the x-axis set by the surface of the operation table and caught sight of someone's back side covered by a simple pair of black panties and let his pupils move up the y-axis from that point and saw, in this order, a bullet wound in the right external oblique, a side-boob (in a black bra), a shoulder and a comically 'not amused' facial expression in red framed bi-focals.

"Would you mind?"

"Uh…uh… I'm Kazu-"

"I'm indecent."

"Right."

And with that, agent Ren left the room closing the door behind him, walking past the elevators and to the stairs. Safe to say he was feeling some type of way. Most likely awkward. However, just two steps up, he thought to himself.

'Doesn't the door say to keep her knocked out and away from medical equipment? And the bullet… The bullet was no longer in side of her.'

"She touched medical equipment…" His eyes squinted ever so slightly and he pursed his lips as if Hannibal Lector had just invited him over for dinner and he was weighing the pros and cons between having a 5 star meal made of his own species or being made into a 5 star meal.

Little did he know the Hannibal Lector of his world was in the room he just left.

After a few seconds of actually weighing these pros and cons in his head his eyes widened as if his eyelids were being deteriorated by the intense radioactive waves that I suppose would be given off by a super nova if you were (stupid enough) to watch the explosion/implosion (?) happen at full blast about one light year away.

"She touched medical equipment!" He shouted as he ran, stumbled and resumed running to the door he abandoned and flung it open, this time seeing the plum-eyed brunette give him an annoyed look as if to ask 'U fo'ril ryte nao? Lye, wuts gud?' However, this time she was sitting at the edge of the operating table, facing the door wrapping gauze around her torso to hold in place the heavy padding that was against the wound.

Was.

Because Ren here interrupts more people that the interrupting cow itse-

MOO!

-ving on…

Upon seeing that the lady was cleaned up but still in her under clothes he simply poker-faced and slowly backed out of the door, closing it behind him.

And stood there.

Just stood.

There.

Ee'yup.

Today on 'Random Thoughts from Ren's Head':

'But…she's still touching medical equipment. What if the sign is up because she's some sort of mad scientist that'll mix some chemicals together that give off a deadly gas and use it as a bomb in the headquarters?'

"She…she could kill us all… She could kill us a-!"

"Sir."

The young woman, seeing as her wounds were finally dressed and that she was fully able to, cut off the cycle of approach, reproach, epiphany, shouting and approaching again from behind a slight crack in the door, a perfect thirteen degrees from the hinge that would make any peeping tom swoon.

"I'm not sure what your job here is but be sure to tell your boss to keep you off of staff duty in the medical department." She paused. "You are on staff duty, correct?"

"I…uh, yes."

"Of course. I see that you're not here to bid me any harm, so will you help me?"

"Y-yes. One serving of help comin' right up, sunshine."

Notice: Ren's still feeling some type of way.

"Wonderful~ Ho ho ho. I'll need your shirt."

"My…shirt…"

"Yes, your shirt. Apparently my clothing isn't in this room."

"Ee'yeah…" His reply was long and drawn out but none the less his shirt was removed and passed over and he himself was passed over seeing as the moment the chukar adorned his shirt, bottomless and barefoot she herself went and took the stairs that he would've taken if I, the author, willed it so.

Ren looked up and down the hallway once more.

He still wasn't expecting hard enough.


End file.
